Lost in Universal Translation
by LadyRainbow
Summary: What happens when you lose the ability to understand what's said around you? Please R&R. Thanks. Please read important note at the beginning of Ch. 9. EPILOGUE UP. Thanks for your patience with this story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: What happens when you suddenly can't communicate with those around you? Not only have you lost the ability to speak, but to understand and to write as well. There is more than one way to get a message across, as we'll find out.  
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**Please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Pairings: R/S, TnT  
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**Rating: T

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**Lost in (Universal) Translation  
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One

The first thing she felt was the pain. The biting cold wasn't too far behind. She opened her eyes to see a close-up view of the instrument panel, cold and lifeless like the space beyond the viewscreen. Her sluggish brain tried to remember what had happened, but everything was all a chaotic blur. Who was she? What was she doing here? What had happened? Was there anyone else with her? It was silent all around her; she missed the hum of engines, the chatter of the flight computer, the hearty laugh of her teammates...

Who were they? Images surfaced, but hovered just beyond recognition. She grasped at the memories, but they floated just beyond reach. A choked sob rumbled deep within her throat, but it hurt too much to let it out. It hurt, just to breathe, just to stay conscious. It would be easy to sink back into oblivion, but some strange urgency kept her _here_, and wouldn't allow her into the shadows. Something important, something that was a matter of life or death, but what was it?

Then a gentle hand dropped on her arm, a feather-light touch that was both commanding and reassuring at the same time. A voice spoke, but it was not her language, and it sounded strange to her tried to reply, but her mouth was too dry. _Who are you? What's happened? Where am I? _More gentle hands manipulated her body, lifted her from the twisted and mangled remains of her seat, and laid her on the floor of the shuttle..._Ah, that's where I am. I'm in a shuttle? I was going somewhere, but where? _She heard the hum of machinery, then more voices in that strange, but melodic language. Her sharp ears detected variation in some of those voices...so whoever these saviors were, they were obviously _not _from the same place.

Her mind idly tried to identify those variations, but without any frame of reference, save her own limited one, she couldn't tell whether one was the standard version over another. Still, the sounds comforted her and reassured her of one fact: she was still alive.

Again, a voice asked her questions that she couldn't understand. Her throat tightened with frustration; if she could only _comprehend _what was being asked, she could give the correct answer! The sense of urgency increased...it became crucial that she told them that...that...

_What? _She couldn't remember. Desperately, she racked her brain for the words, but couldn't find them. Then strong arms lifted her up and cradled her against soft fabric; she turned her head so her cheek rested on the fabric and she heard a rhythmic melody:_ lub-dub, lub-dub. T_he soothing pattern lulled her to sleep, and the last thought she had was how she felt safe and protected.

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She was in a jungle. At least, it sounded as if she was in a jungle: squawks and hums, beating wings and clicking claws against metal. Yet the air around her felt cool on her skin. This had to be the strangest jungle in the universe, or the climate controls were malfunctioning again.

A hypospray hissed against her neck. At least, that was one sound she recognized without any trouble. Then she opened her eyes and saw an unfamiliar face: hair parted on either side of the top of his head by ridges, blue eyes that looked at her with compassion and concern, an impossibly wide grin that split his face in two.

He spoke in a soothing tone, but the words made no sense to her at all. When she didn't respond, the smile vanished and he repeated what he said, but to her mind, the tones all ran together in a mix of gibberish. There was no distinction among the sounds; even the intonation seemed wrong. She shook her head and said,

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you at all. Who are you?" That was what she thought she said, but the other person's frown only deepened. So she tried again, "I don't speak your language. I'm sorry." There was no response; she felt a stab of frustration as she tried to make herself understood. Finally, she only lifted her hands and shrugged her shoulders.

That seemed to get the point across, for the man's expression softened. He reached over and squeezed her wrist in a "stay here" gesture, then crossed the room to a speaker in a wall. She listened as she talked to someone else, frantically searching her memory for the meaning behind the words, and finding none.

A wave of fear paralyzed her throat_. Where am I? And why can't I understand what he said?_

Some time later, the doors hissed open and others walked into the room. They weren't like the first man, the doctor (she guessed his function on board this strange ship when he gave her more medicine through a hypospray). Their faces were different: no ridges, different colored eyes, different heights. The one in the lead held himself straight and tall; this man was _born _to command. A whole slew of emotions flashed across his face: dread, fear, sympathy.

"I know you," she said, "but I can't remember your name."

The sound of her voice startled him. He looked over to the doctor, but the doctor said nothing. Then he looked back at her and tried to reassure her that everything was going to be all right. That was how she interpreted his tone, for he spoke that odd language too. She narrowed her eyes in concentration as she listened to the sounds and tried to associate them with anything familiar. Unfortunately, her mind drew a blank.

_So this is like some sort of code, _she reasoned_. A completely new language that I've never heard before. It's harsh and musical at the same time. Quite expressive and it seems to have many variations among its speakers. _The sense of urgency returned...she must learn this new tongue as quickly as possible, she must make herself understood among the members of this new species. There was something she had to tell them...

Movement out of the corner of her eye alarmed her and her head snapped in that direction. There was a third man in the room, but he'd kept himself so still that he hadn't noticed him until now. The expression on his face was carefully neutral, but the emotions shone within his eyes. The intensity of the gaze frightened her, but she couldn't look away. With an effort, she managed to refocus her attention of the tall, brown-haired man who was now in hushed conversation with the doctor.

The doctor nodded, then he stepped forward again. He raised his hand and tapped his chest and said, "Phlox." She felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips._ His name! He told me his name! _In response, she began to mimic the gesture, but froze when she realized_, What is my name? I don't even know who I am! _

The quiet man came to her rescue. He gently took her hand and placed it on her chest and said something._ Huh-sh-ee. Is that my name? _She repeated it, slowly and tentatively, letting it roll off her tongue. No, that didn't sound quite right...she repeated it, trying to copy the exact sounds, but it took an effort to wrap her mouth around them. Finally, she got it just right. _Hoh-shee_. A thrill of happiness went through her...she'd managed to make herself understood! The man smiled, but it held a touch of sadness and she wondered at it.

_S_he refused to dwell on that. Instead, she took his hand and placed it on his chest. He nodded and said a word that she knew was his name. _Mah-kul-mu. _It was full of unfamiliar sounds, more difficult than her own name, and no matter how many times she repeated it, she couldn't get it exactly right. Tears of frustration filled her eyes, but then he only shook his head and said something else along the lines of_, Don't worry, you'll get it. _Oddly enough, she found herself believing him.

The brown-haired "leader" (as she mentally dubbed him) was_ "Jhonn". _She repeated the three names to herself like a mantra. It seemed like an innocuous beginning, but just being able to trade names was a big step forward in getting to know these people. If she could find out what had happened to her, then the missing pieces of the puzzle would fall into place.

Or so she hoped. She had a feeling that the universe depended on it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: Yeah, what's happened to Hoshi, and why is she speaking in another language? Why can't she remember her crewmates? We'll find out the answer soon. Hoshi re-discovers the joys of Phlox's menagerie, dogwalking, and chocolate cheesecake.**

**Please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Rating: T

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**Two**

She held the device with both hands and gazed at its screen with awe. With the touch of a button, she could fill that screen with characters and pictures. So much to learn, so much to discover, and it filled her with joy and excitement. She went from page to page, listening to the prompts and murmuring the responses.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the doctor---_Phlox_, she reminded herself---watching her with great interest. He fetched a container on a nearby shelf and unscrewed the lid off the top. Hoshi allowed the picture device to fall into her lap as she saw him withdraw---a worm?---out of the container. He gently dropped it between the bars of the cage of one of his animals. It reared its head and snapped up the morsel. Hoshi watched as it chewed and swallowed it; the sight both fascinated and repulsed her, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight.

"My pets need to be fed every day," Phlox said in a conversational tone, "or they become quite irritated indeed. This is my Jhorian feathercat. Would you like to say hello, Hoshi? Don't worry, she won't bite."

He made a gesture towards the cages. Curiosity warred with caution, but curiosity won out in the end. She slid off the biobed and shuffled towards him. It still felt odd, moving like this; it was as if her body was familiar, yet foreign at the same time. She'd observed how Phlox and the others managed to move around---_walk around_---but she hadn't quite gotten used to the movement yet.

"Hold out your hand like this," Phlox instructed, holding out his hand to the feathercat's snout. "That way she can familiarize herself with your scent. That way, she'll know who you are."

Slowly, she copied Phlox's gesture. The feathercat swiveled her nose to Hoshi's hand, sniffed at it, then gave a massive sneeze. The explosive sound made Hoshi jump back, but the feathercat made no move to bite her. Instead, she had a nonplussed expression on her face as her nose continued to twitch. The sight was so hilarious that Hoshi broke out into giggles.

"She likes you," Phlox said with a grin. "She wouldn't have sneezed if she didn't."

"_F'thr'kat?_ " Hoshi asked as she put her hand out to the feathercat again._ "F'thr'kat?"_

"That's right, Hoshi. It's a feathercat." His startled expression became one of pride, then he gestured toward a second cage. "Would you like to meet the rest of my menagerie?"

She slowly nodded. "Yes," she whispered. The word brought out another smile from Phlox. She wondered if the doctor was perpetually happy, or if he just acted that way. The thought amused her to no end.

Hoshi spent the next half hour getting acquainted with the other animals. Phlox showed her how to feed blood worms to the Pyrithian bat and how to handle the Regulan eels without being bitten. Hoshi asked him the names of every creature, then repeated those names several times until she pronounced them correctly. Phlox didn't seem bothered by her incessant questions; in fact, he encouraged her to speak as much as possible.

"Like f'thr'kat ," she said.

"Malina's claw clippings can be ground up and used to heal broken bones," Phlox said, "so she's a very important part of the group."

"Pet...good." Hoshi frowned as she struggled to put her thought into words. "Like pet."

"You know, Captain Archer---_Jon_---has a pet as well. He has a dog, Porthos. Do you remember Porthos?"

The name stirred some faint recollection, but she couldn't bring it to the surface. Phlox seemed to understand her frustration; he crossed to the speaker on the wall and said some words into it. When he returned, he gave her another bright grin. "Perhaps seeing Porthos will help you regain some of your memories, Hoshi."

Ten minutes later, the doors hissed open to admit Jon. He held a squirming, furry animal in his arms, one with long ears and four feet. Hoshi automatically held out her arms and the next thing she knew, she was inundated with slobbery licks on her face. She buried her face in the warm fur and murmured, "Porthos."

Jon looked over at Phlox with astonishment. "She remembers Porthos."

"Pets have been instrumental in helping patients heal," Phlox said. "She responded positively when I introduced her to my menagerie; I thought that if she saw Porthos, it might jog her memory. Porthos seems nonthreatening enough to her---"

"Obviously, she doesn't remember how Porthos reacts when you tell him he can't have any more cheese."

Hoshi's head came up at the irony of Jon's tone. Why did he sound so ominous? He noticed her worried frown and smiled at her again. "It's a joke, Hoshi."

Phlox shook his head. "Human expressions can be confusing, Captain. I still have some difficulties with the subtle nuances of your language."

"T'Pol does too. You should see the looks she gives Trip when he mixes metaphors." He chuckled and reached over to pet Porthos as the dog continued to lick Hoshi's face. She didn't understand the conversation, but she didn't care, for she was overwhelmed by the feelings of safety and utter contentment that washed over her at the little animal's actions.

_Family, she thought. Where did that word come from? Then a pleasant memory surfaced: running through a reddish-gold field under a purple sky, laughing and singing. She glanced over her shoulder to see others like her...they were playing a game, one that tested their skills in tracking and evasion, one that she was good at. The warm sun felt wonderful on her skin; she looked down in fascination at her arm as the skin there slowly turned a dusky rose from its iridescent pearl hue. She raised a hand to her head to find short, curly hair that tumbled over her shoulders. Her fingers found a raised pattern on her face, a ridge that circled her right eye and crossed the bridge of her nose and extended down her cheek to her neck. Then she turned her attention to the fingers themselves, six of them, long and slim, ending in sensitive pads. _

Something whuffed at those fingers and startled her out of her daydream. A pair of joyous brown eyes met hers, and Hoshi remembered she still held Porthos. The dog gazed at her with an expectant look, then whined a little. She looked askance at Jon and Phlox, who were watching her with curious expressions. What did they see? Neither man seemed disturbed at her appearance; she had already figured out that each person looked different from one another, so that couldn't be the reason for their sudden interest. These people seemed to take those differences as a matter of fact. For some reason, that eased her fears a little.

"Doctor, Porthos expects her to take him out for a walk. Would you object if I went with her? Maybe walking around the ship will help bring back her memories."

"No, I don't object, but watch her carefully, Captain. Seeing familiar places and people may jog her memory, but it might also cause her undue stress. If she becomes upset, bring her back here immediately."

"Understood, Doctor." Jon turned to Hoshi again. "Porthos needs to be taken for a walk. Would you like to go with us?"

"Go?" she echoed. Her grip tightened on Porthos. "Go?"

"Don't worry, Hoshi, we're taking him with us." He reached over and attached some sort of long strip to Porthos's neck, then whistled a high-pitched sound. Obediently, Porthos jumped off her lap to the floor. Jon coaxed her to her feet as Porthos jumped and yipped in excitement. He handed her the free end of the line, then inclined his head towards the door.

She realized she would have to leave the safety of the medical bay. Her heart sped up in nervous anticipation. Of course, she couldn't stay here forever. She would have to venture out into this new place, sooner or later. She tried to smile, but she felt it tremble at the edges.

"It's all right, Hoshi. Porthos and I will be with you every step of the way."

She nodded and took a step forward. One step became two, and three, and more. The action felt familiar, as if she did this every day. In fact, she probably _did_, for her limbs moved automatically without hesitation. This was _her _physical body, yet it also felt like a stranger's. How was that possible?

Porthos, relieved to be moving at last, bounded toward the doors, which hissed open at their approach. The corridor outside was busy with all sorts of activity. The first thing she noticed was how narrow and cramped the hallways were. A sense of unease nibbled at the edge of her consciousness, but then Porthos pulled her and she was forced to keep up with him.

She distracted herself by observing the passers-by. They all wore the same kind of jumpsuit that Jon wore: blue, with colored stripes on the shoulder and strange pins on the right side. The number of pins varied. Jon, she noticed, had four, and no one else seemed to have that many, but they varied between one and three. More than a few people greeted her kindly with smiles and words, but she only returned a tentative smile. They all seemed friendly enough, but she wasn't quite sure yet if she could trust them.

"Are you hungry? We can go to the Mess Hall." At her questioning look, he mimed eating and drinking. "Food?"

Hoshi brightened; that was a word she recognized from the game on the datapad. _Yes, it was time to refuel her body with..._"Food," she repeated with a nod.

The doors opened to reveal a huge room filled with people. She would have hesitated at the threshold, if Porthos hadn't literally dragged her inside. Her eyes scanned her surroundings; the bright lights gave the place a cheerful atmosphere, and as she watched, the people laughed and talked as they ate. The sights and smells nearly overwhelmed her senses, but she couldn't help but feel a wave of comfort, of _home_.

"Hoshi! Good to see you up and about! Y'had us all worried, y'know."

The voice reminded Hoshi of a lazy summer day on a slow-moving river; simple on the surface, but complicated underneath. It belonged to a light-haired man sitting at a nearby table. Next to him was a dark-skinned man who was putting food in his mouth at a rapid pace. Hoshi hoped the second man wouldn't choke on what he was consuming.

"Didn't mean to interrupt your lunch, Trip---"

"You're not interruptin', Cap'n. Have a seat. How 'bout we get you somethin' to eat, Hoshi? Chef's got your favorite shrimp marinara and chocolate cheesecake for dessert."

The other man finally slowed enough to add, "Just stay away from the meatloaf, Captain. It tastes a little off."

"I'll take your word for it, Travis. Can you watch Porthos while we get something to eat?"

"Certainly, Cap'n." The first man bent and scratched Porthos behind the ears as Jon motioned for Hoshi to follow him to the serving line. The other members of the crew stepped aside to let them go ahead, thus confirming her supposition that Jon was the leader of the group.

She looked at the various offerings, all in bright colors and beautiful arrangements, but none seemed appealing at the moment. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jon pick up a dish of something drenched in a kind of white sauce and sprinkled with green flecks. She hesitated for half a second, then selected the same item. The smell assaulted her nose and she had to make an effort to keep her composure. Then she watched him open a cabinet and saw pieces of creamy pastry on plates. This time, her hand automatically went to a brown slice of..._chocolate cheesecake. _

How did she know that? Of course, the blond man---_Tuh-rriph, Trip, _Jon had called him---had said it was available, but how did she distinguish it from the multitude of pastries in the serving case? _Are my memories returning? Am I remembering bits and pieces of my life, like my food preferences?_

She tried to contain her excitement as she returned to the table and sat between Jon and the third man---_Tuh-rafus_., _Travis. _She tried not to stare at both men. _Their names are similar, at least the first sound is similar. Are they are related? They look nothing alike. One is light, the other dark, but they both share the same kind of easygoing friendliness. I wish I could ask them. _There were more pressing matters at the moment, like eating.

Hoshi glanced at Travis, who was still consuming the items on his plate with a pronged utensil in one hand. So she picked it up and proceeded to use it to scoop up the slimy, snake-like strands on her plate. Like walking, her body seemed to move of its own accord, and knew the motions. But the moment she placed the morsel in her mouth, she coughed as the taste overwhelmed her.

"Hoshi?" Travis immediately pounded her on the back. "You okay?"

"Here, drink this." Trip thrust a glass of water into her hand, and she gulped the liquid without a second thought. After she finished the glass, she closed her eyes and thought, _This is _horrendous! _How can they _consume this...food _without poisoning themselves?_

Travis still gazed at her with concern. "I guess we should stay away from the marinara, too."

Trip sampled a bite from her plate and said, "Dunno, tastes okay to me. Maybe her stomach's upset. I bet the chocolate cheesecake'll make you feel better, Hoshi."

She opened her eyes and gave the innocent-looking pastry a dubious look. Silence fell over the table when she made no move toward it. Jon cleared his throat, but she didn't react.

"Okay, we all _know_ that Hoshi doesn't refuse chocolate," Trip said, "even if she was drunk or dying."

Cautiously, she poked her "eating utensil"---_fork, _she remembered, feeling another burst of pride at knowing the word and its meaning---into the chocolate cheesecake. When it didn't jump, squeal, or make faces at her, she slipped the small piece into her mouth. Her eyes widened in delight, then one forkful became two, then three. In minutes, the dessert plate was empty.

"Whew! Had us worried there, for a minute," Trip breathed. "Thought that maybe you'd sworn off chocolate for life."

"Or maybe an alien had taken over her body," Travis quipped. At Jon's sharp look, he raised his hands and said, "Just saying. We've run into many weird things out here that the thought came to me. If she'd decided not to even _touch _the cheesecake, I would've called Phlox. Obviously, she _does _remember her favorite dessert, so maybe her memories _are _coming back."

"It'll just take time," Jon said with a slight smile at her. "We want you back, Hoshi."

"Yeah. It's not the same without you," Trip chimed in.

Hoshi managed a smile at the words. She brought her gaze over the other tables and saw _Mal-khum_---Malcolm---sitting nearby with his back to the wall. He made no move to join the others at her table, but only watched. Again, she felt that odd feeling of being protected; as long as he watched, no harm would come to her. But why? She didn't understand it, but at the same time, she felt grateful to him for it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: Hoshi visits her own cabin and tries to remember who she is and what she did aboard the ship. And she sees her reflection in the mirror---with surprising results. **

**Spoilers for ENT "Vox Sola".**

**Please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Rating: T

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**Three**

After lunch, Porthos dragged Hoshi from the Mess Hall and through the corridors, with Jon ambling behind them. Hoshi reconsidered her initial impression of the little dog; Porthos had more strength than anyone gave him credit for. She'd be lucky if she didn't need her shoulder repaired after this. The beagle stopped in front of a door on B Deck, Junior Officers' Quarters. She looked at the nameplate over the door bell: _Hoshi Sato, Ens. _This must be her room.

She gazed at the touchpad and wondered how to open the door, but her hand again came up and tapped in a code. The door slid open and Porthos shot inside like a cannon. Hoshi hurried in after him just before the doors shut. Soft lighting gave the cabin a warm, homey look. A set of curtains hung over the window (curtains, in space?) and pictures adorned the walls. She reached out and touched a scroll with bold characters written in black ink. _Chinese: _Ai. _Love. _ Her fingers traced the lines again as she thought, _How did I know that? _Then she traced another character. _Japanese. _Ki._ The spirit of all living things, known in Chinese as _Chi, _translated in English as _Spirit.

The bed was littered with datapads and old-fashioned books. Porthos sniffed the strange objects, but then he obediently sat on the pillow and laid his head down on it. Out of curiosity, she picked up one of the pads. Unfamiliar graphics popped up on the screen. Hoshi used the buttons to scroll and advance through the article, but nothing seemed familiar. Most of the other pads held similar information, cross-indexed and referenced with each other. Obviously, she'd been doing research before the incident...before...

She frowned and put the pad down. Another memory stirred deep within. Translations. She had been doing translations from one language to another. That was her function here, to find meaning so others could understand. Hoshi narrowed her eyes at the neatly arranged columns on the screen. On one side was one kind of script, on the other was a completely different alphabet.

_What if these are equivalents to each other? What if there is a way to speak to them and have it converted into something they could understand? Her hands shook with excitement. Was it possible? Could she do it? Or, more precisely, could she remember how to do it?_

Carefully, she put the pad down on the bed and went to investigate the rest of the room. Her clothing hung neatly in the closet; she saw blue jumpsuits similar to what Jon, Trip, and the others wore. The ones that weren't jumpsuits varied in color and length. Apparently, she appreciated a wide range of color. To her surprise, she found a box of---_chocolate_---hidden in the top drawer of the bureau. Obviously, she enjoyed the food highly for her to hide it away from prying eyes.

She methodically went through the drawers, the photos, the books. It was odd; this was her life, but to her, it was as if she was looking at the life of a stranger. None of the items jolted her memory. She tried to recall when was the last time she wore this garment, or where she had acquired this souvenir. Yet it was all a blank. It brought her a pang of sadness. Would she ever regain her memories?

Then she made the mistake of looking up into the mirror on the bureau.

A strangled shriek caught within her throat. _Is that me? But...but...do I look like _that? _That's not possible! I can't look like that! _She rubbed her eyes with her free hand, but the image stared back at her. Her almond shaped eyes registered shock and horror as she touched her face. In the main room, Porthos started howling at the top of his lungs.

"Hoshi?" She snapped her head around as Jon stepped into her doorway. At the look on her face, he immediately grasped her arm. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She looked again and shook her head wildly. "I don't look like that! I don't know who it is! Please tell me this is a nightmare and I'm going to wake up!"

"Hoshi, that's your reflection." Jon sounded confused.

Of course; her features were similar to the others on this ship. This was _her _body, _her _hair, _her _eyes, _her _lips. She should have expected it. With an effort, she calmed her breathing and her heartbeat. Jon still looked concerned, so she managed a weak smile. It certainly didn't reassure him at all.

"Sir, I called Phlox; he's on his way." Malcolm stuck his head in, his blue-gray eyes mirroring his concern. "Is Hoshi all right? What happened?"

"She saw something in the mirror," Jon replied. "All _I _could see was her own reflection, but _something _frightened her."

Malcolm raised his eyebrows, then put a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Hoshi, what did you see?"

"Me," she replied as she opened her eyes. His touch steadied and calmed her; why did this man have such an effect on her? Automatically, she put his hand atop his and pointed at herself with the fingers of her free hand, "I saw me, but it _isn't_ me." It sounded schizophrenic; perhaps she _was _going mad.

Malcolm glanced questioningly at Jon, but the captain seemed equally at a loss. Hoshi felt the frustration rising again, but then she remembered the pads on her bed, the translations. If there was any way to make herself understood..She ran back into the main room, grabbed one of the active datapads from the bed and fiddled with the controls. A green light indicated that it was ready to record audio input. Then she spoke directly into it.

"I don't know what's happened to me, Malcolm. All I know is that this is Hoshi Sato's body, but my mind isn't quite sure it's really hers. Ever since I woke up, bits and pieces are coming back to me, but I _still_ feel wrong. Like I don't belong here, but I know I should. I can't remember, I can't tell you anything, and it's frustrating to me."

Her fingers worked the pad's controls as if they'd done it since the beginning of time. _She_ definitely had no conscious knowledge of its more complicated workings. The pad beeped in time with her entries and characters scrolled across the screen. Malcolm's face brightened as he realized what she was doing.

"Hoshi's trying to translate her own speech," he said. "If it matches something within the UT's database or _Enterprise_'s records---"

"Then we can identify what it is and possibly understand what she's trying to tell us," Jon finished. He gazed at her as she concentrated on the pad; she saw his expression of awe and approval. He raised his eyebrows as if another idea had occurred to him. "You know who'd be a big help to her? T'Pol. Remember when we were swallowed up by that lifeform in the cargo bay our first year---"

Malcolm winced; the captain Rostov, Trip and two others had nearly perished, but Hoshi had managed to talk to it in its own language and convince it to let them go, if _Enterprise _returned it to its homeworld. He and Hoshi had been at odds on how to settle the situation. In the end, Hoshi's solution had freed the prisoners without any lasting bodily harm. She'd been right, and Malcolm was both humbled and impressed by her steadfastness.

"You're right, sir. Let's see if Hoshi's willing to let her help."

Hoshi listened to their conversation with only part of her attention, for she watched as the computer ran the unfamiliar words through some linguistic algorithms---algorithms, she recalled now, that _she _had written herself. Working on this translation galvanized her; she no longer felt helpless, for the first time since she'd woken up in Sickbay and spoken a language no one else knew. If she could crack this code...

She was so involved in the process that she jumped when she saw Phlox next to her with a scanner in hand. She saw the corner of Malcolm's mouth twitch in humor and his eyes lit up with the smile that wasn't visible on his lips.

"Her blood pressure and heart rate have gone up significantly, Captain, and I'm reading some strange activity from her cerebral cortex. I suggest we bring her back to Sickbay."

"Have T'Pol meet us there. Hoshi's trying to translate her own speech and match it with what we have in the database. If she's successful, we might be able to find out what's happened to her."

Hoshi heard T'Pol's name and recognized it, but the rest of the conversation wasn't significant to her. She found herself gazing at Malcolm's expression and thought, _He's glad that I'm doing something useful, something that matters to me. I guess I've been morose since this all started. _He encouraged her without words, and she only nodded at him.

"Hoshi, if you'd follow me, please," said Phlox.

She sighed and looked at the other pads on the bed. Malcolm seemed to anticipate her thoughts and said, "I'll bring them, Hoshi." He gathered them up with a minimum amount of fuss. Hoshi noticed that he wasted no movement at all, like a dancer or an athlete. For some reason, she felt her face grow hot and she gripped the edge of the pad she was holding.

Hoshi followed Phlox, thinking, _What is going on? Why am I feeling this way?

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"The language she is speaking is not in the database," T'Pol said, as she surveyed the results of Hoshi's search. "The syntax is also not similar to any language that we currently know."

"Then how are we going to figure it out?" Malcolm asked, with a shade of impatience. "If nothing matches it in the database---"

"Then we need to acquire enough of a sample for analysis. If Ensign Sato has regained her skill set, then she could use them to find familiar patterns within the speech.." T'Pol turned to Hoshi and gave her a nod. "I have confidence in the ensign's abilities."

The Vulcan's tone was as dry as ever, but Hoshi heard a note of respect within it. T'Pol inclined her head towards the nearby computer; Hoshi nodded assent. T'Pol went to it and set up the programs.

A voice interrupted, "Tucker to the Cap'n."

Jon crossed over to the speaker in the wall. "Archer."

"Cap'n, we've completed the analysis of the shuttlepod that Hoshi was in. I think you and Malcolm should get down here."

He and Malcolm exchanged looks, then Jon replied, "On our way, Trip. Archer out." Jon glanced at T'Pol and told her, "Keep me informed on your progress."

"Yes, Captain."

Hoshi looked up as the three men headed for the Sickbay doors. Malcolm gave her a look that said, _I'll be back as soon as I can. _Then he was gone. She felt an odd pang of loss, but dismissed it as she regarded her pad again. Porthos leaped onto the biobed next to her and settled in as if he expected to be there for some time. She smiled at him; he was affectionate and loyal. Little wonder that Jon had brought him.

Phlox kept a close eye on her vital signs. Although they weren't at dangerous levels, her blood pressure and heart rate were both higher than he'd liked. A hypospray of medicine had evened out the readings, but his worry was plain to see. Hoshi felt another bout of lightheadedness, and there was a tingling feeling in her fingers, but she chalked it up to excitement at finally doing something to help her situation.

But she couldn't stop the nagging worry that she needed to solve this mystery before it was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: This is a critical chapter. Hoshi and T'Pol race to translate Hoshi's language. You also find out just what exactly happened to Hoshi in the shuttlepod.**

**Please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Rating: T

* * *

  
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**Four**

"_M'rashee ta alem ka. Sian'le da Hah-shee Sah-toh ne. Afil de'phe nima ka'alenju wa."_

The computer chattered for several seconds, then the words slowly scrolled across the screen. "To Him/her/it (pre-prepositional phrase?) greetings may be. Body _Hah-shee Sah-to_ (verb 'to be' implied, first-person possession implied?) Give him/her/it pleasure here (verb 'to be' implied)."

Hoshi frowned; there was too many holes, too much missing. It was too optimistic to believe there would be a perfect one-to-one correspondence between her language and the "regular" language spoken here. Yet, she felt a twinge of irritation at not getting it to the point where it would be easily understood. She and T'Pol sat in the medical ward, painstakingly analyzing and reconstructing her words, bit by bit. They tried addressing things in context, noting every repeated word and phrase, making assumptions and acting on those assumptions. T'Pol had also used mathematical formulas and equations in her work.

"We used mathematics to translate an unknown language in the early years of this ship's mission. You found the correlation and we based our analysis on it," T'Pol explained. Hoshi gave her a baffled look; the Vulcan sighed and amended, "We have used this algorithm before."

Hoshi only nodded; she understood that T'Pol had found another avenue to pursue. It was only logical that they try as many ways as possible. For some reason, the thought made her mouth twitch upward in humor. How eminently logical...

Her thoughts began to wander yet again; she'd lost track of how many times it had happened within the past twenty minutes. Each time, she was able to refocus on the work in front of her. This time, it was different, it was as if she was floating free of her body, as if she flew upon the wind...

"Doctor!" T'Pol called sharply. "Her bioreadings are unstable!" The Vulcan's voice echoed as if it was in a huge cavern, almost overwhelmed by the terrified howls of Porthos. Hoshi wanted to reach out and reassure the dog, but she didn't have any physical hands at all. It was a strange, disorienting sensation, the feeling of not knowing where you were, but the place was so familiar to her...

_I felt this way when I woke up in the shuttle, she realized. This sense of disorientation, as if I was here and not here. What does it mean? Why am I feeling this way now?_

Her surroundings were a blur, but she thought she recognized the narrow corridors of the ship, the lights set into the wall, other people in uniform. She was moving, or more precisely, her _consciousness_ was moving, for she knew her body was still in the medical ward with T'Pol, Phlox, and Porthos. She "turned" her head to see Jon walking at her side. His mouth moved, but she didn't hear the words.

_Where am I? _Then she saw a set of doors in front of her and knew they led to Shuttle Bay One. So, Jon was heading to the shuttle bay, and somehow, she had come along for the ride with..._Malcolm? How did I manage to do that? _She could feel his presence, strong yet steady, but there was an upswell of fear and concern underneath. It sounded like a lava flow about to explode out of a volcano, but a cold wind cooled its surface and kept the panic at bay. That wind seemed to change pitch as she listened; Malcolm was skilled at doing this, but she knew that it cost him a tremendous effort to maintain it.

_He is a protector. He is responsible for everyone aboard this ship. He cannot afford to let the tempest loose, not now. _Malcolm's control wasn't pitch-perfect, for she heard the small variances within it, but it was enough to suffice for now. She instinctively felt that one swift and unexpected jolt could destroy that balance and let the furor loose.

Then the doors to the shuttle bay opened and she saw Trip and Travis examining the wreck of the shuttlepod. She heard the wind scale up in pitch, but then it held steady. Then her point-of-view changed and suddenly she was seeing things through Malcolm's eyes, but he seemed unaware of her presence. Hoshi held herself as still as possible, so that she didn't tip that precious balance.

"What have you found?" Jon asked, his voice hard and formal.

"Check this out, Cap'n." Trip handed him a datapad. "Some kinda electrical blast hit the shuttlepod and blew out almost every critical system, including life support. The oxygen tanks had been torn apart and atmosphere was leakin' like a rusty sieve. Helm control, navigation, communications were fried to a crisp. That was includin' the new communications relay that Hoshi was testin' on the pod."

Jon's face darkened as the implications became clear. "In other words, Hoshi shouldn't have survived through that accident."

"It was a damn miracle that she lived at all, Cap'n, considerin' the damage we're seein'. We were lucky that we were monitorin' her as closely as we were at the time and got to her as quickly as we did."

Hoshi felt Malcolm flinch internally at his news._ I could have died. I should have died, but I didn't, she thought. How did I survive that?_

"Was she fired upon?" Malcolm asked. "Was it some sort of weapon?"

"Hard to tell, but it looks like everythin' happened in the space of a few seconds. It could've been, but it could be she hit somethin' we didn't detect on sensors."

"Look at this," Travis spoke up. He pointed at a schematic on the pad. "Rostov scanned the metal fragments in the hull and came up with _this. _It's some type of unknown metal that bonded to the shuttlepod and strengthened its hull integrity. Whatever it is could have saved Hoshi's life by preserving the air long enough for us to get to her."

"Where did it come from?" Malcolm asked. "It looks similar to titanium, but the chemical composition's all wrong. I've never seen anything like this before."

"Neither have I, and I've seen ships made out of weirder stuff than this." Travis shook his head in confusion. "This alloy is mixed all throughout the shuttlepod, from the walls to the helm controls. If we can figure out what it is and how it acts, we might be able to use it in other ways."

Trip's mouth turned up in a smirk. "T'Pol's gonna have a field day with this."

"Forward the information to her, Trip. Right now, she's helping Hoshi translate whatever language Hoshi's speaking. If they can crack the code, then we might be able to find out exactly what's going on with her." Jon nodded. "Good job, you two. Malcolm, I want you to run another analysis on this alloy. If it _is_ something we can use for defending the ship, every little bit helps out here."

"Aye, sir." Malcolm sounded relieved that at least he was _doing_ something to help. Hoshi felt his inner equilibrium become steadier, more melodic and even stronger than before. She felt a surge of pride for him and the way he conducted himself. Her instincts had been correct; he was a calm professional, and kept his emotions in check, but it didn't mean he _lacked_ them. Quite an enigma, this man.

"Keep me informed, gentlemen."

The three of them chorused, "Aye, sir," as Jon strode out of the cargo bay. Trip motioned to Malcolm and said, "Here, lemme show you somethin'..."

Malcolm moved to the remains of the shuttlepod---little more than a shell, now---and Hoshi saw its condition through his eyes. She shuddered along with him as she surveyed the ruined control panels, the webbed cracks through the viewport, and the visible holes in the walls. Trip had been right; she _shouldn't _have survived through this, but she did.

It had something to do with the unknown metal alloy that had bonded to the shuttle. Another memory stirred within her:

* * *

"Shuttlepod One to Enterprise. I'm getting a positive signal from the test buoy. It looks like the new comm array's working perfectly, Captain."

"Good work, Hoshi. How long do you need to finish your tests?"

"Five more minutes should do it."

"All right, signal the Deck Landing Officer when you're ready."

"Yes, sir. Shuttlepod One, out." Hoshi began cycling through the available frequencies, and concentrated on the resonances that confirmed a successful test run. When they all turned out positive, she sighed in satisfaction. Yes, she was competent enough for a solo mission, even if it wasn't even a few thousand kilometers away from the ship. She hoped that it would go a long way to convincing Malcolm that she could take care of herself.

A shrill alarm jolted her from her thoughts. A second later, the instrument panel in front of her exploded in a hail of fire and sparks and knocked her back in her seat. Only the restraining straps kept her from being thrown onto the floor. She felt the searing heat on her face and hands as she tried to protect her eyes. She turned her head and stifled a scream of fear.

The walls of the shuttlepod were glowing with crackles of blue electricity skimming its surfaces, popping like a fireworks display for Chinese New Year. The roar didn't quite overwhelm the hiss of escaping air. She must have struck a cloaked mine or collided with a space artifact, but why hadn't she detect it?

Then pain hit her, as pressure exploded up her throat and her body trembled in its wake. Suddenly, the agony just stopped, as if someone had thrown a switch. Am I dying? Thoughts of regret brought tears to her eyes. She would never see Jon, Trip, or Travis ever again; never speak Denobulan with Phlox or feed his menagerie, never practice her Vulcan with T'Pol, never walk Porthos and slip him a piece of cheese, never eat another piece of chocolate...

Never tell Malcolm she loved him...

Sh was floating now, above her body. Then she wondered what Heaven looked like. Was it peaceful, like Nirvana? A feasting hall, like Valhalla, or Sto-vo-kor? Talking in Klingon in the afterlife would be interesting...

A gentle touch brought her back to the present. Wait, there was someone else here with her. A Guardian Angel? No, not quite...the presence filled her with warmth and light, but instead of flying, she felt a steady, downward tug back into her body. Part of her struggled against the force, but the visitor said,

Yes, you. You have so much more to do. Together, we will be together, and neither of us will be lonely ever again...Every cell in her body was filled with that light, then slowly it faded to black, along with the memories. Forget now. Forget all that ails you, forget all that holds you back...

No...Panic, fear, determination, as she struggled to hold on to her unique consciousness, her unique soul that was Hoshi. The presence eased itself between her mental shields, like a ghost through a solid wall, and there it stayed..._

* * *

  
_

Hoshi's body jerked, then collapsed back onto the biobed. Malcolm was ripped away from her and she slammed back into physical consciousness as if propelled by a rubber band. The piercing whine of the overhead monitors scaled upward; her mouth moved in that odd language, screaming for help, for an ending, _anything_.

"We're losing her!" shouted a woman's voice.

"One more time, Liz! Step away...clear!"

Another jolt of energy arched her body and pummeled her back onto the bed. "_Nh'haina se lhutai! Bharsi se rhuuutanai!"_

"What's she saying?" Liz demanded.

"I don't know," Phlox answered. "Sub-Commander?"

"The translation matrix is incomplete, Doctor. All I am getting is gibberish."

A new voice broke into the conversation: "Archer to Sickbay. We're bringing Malcolm; he collapsed in the Shuttle Bay."

Phlox's voice was tight with tension. "It is probably connected with Hoshi's condition, Captain. She's coded twice; we're struggling to stabilize her right now."

"We're on our way. Archer, out."

_Malcolm and I...we're connected in some way. _And if she died, she might take him with her. So, she reached for the thin filament that still existed between the two of them, and with tears in her eyes, snapped the connection just as she heard the flat tone of the machines above her.

* * *

And again, like before, she floated free and without pain, but this time, there was no bright light. A milky darkness surrounded her, then all at once, her horizon expanded: a reddish-golden field under a purple sky, with green mountains in the distance. A group of children played some kind of tag between the stalks of grain while she watched with interest.

"Hello there. Would you like to play with us? We need one more person for the next round. Sh'anal has to go home to help her mother with the baby, so you could take her place. That is, if you want."

Hoshi marveled at the joy within that chiming voice. It reminded her of temple bells on a holiday. The sound reverberated through her spirit and bolstered her mood as well._ How is that possible? _She turned to see another child with curly flame-orange hair standing behind her, bouncing on her bare feet and grinning from ear to ear. The girl's large aqua eyes were surrounded by a thin ridge that gave contour to the blindingly snow-white skin.

"We'll go easy on you," the girl said with a chuckle. "Not everyone knows the rules. You have to figure them out as you go."

Well, I don't have anything else to do, Hoshi thought. She managed a trembling smile. "Okay."

"Wonderful!" Her companion turned and called out to her friends. Hoshi barely heard what she had said because she realized something crucial.

She had understood every word the girl had uttered. Every word_. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: You get a clue to the "other" presence in Hoshi's mind. Where did it come from and why did it choose Hoshi? **

**There's a reference to ENT "Vanishing Point".  
**

**Please R&R! Thanks! :)

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**Five**

Hoshi joined the other children in the center of the field. All of them were of varying heights, but they all had curly hair, iridescent skin, and wide aqua-green eyes. The only thing that seemed to distinguish them from each other was the strange ridge on their faces. On some of the children, it ringed the eye and continued down the cheek and the neck. On others, it stopped midway down the jawline, and was even absent on one boy's face.

"All right. If you leave the area of the field, you're disqualified," announced the girl. "You know your assigned pairs; I'll be Nah'lai's partner, since she just joined us. This is her first game, you know."

All eyes hit Hoshi and she felt an embarrassed flush on her skin. She glanced down and watched in fascination as her shining white skin became rosy pink. _Apparently when I blush, it's hard to hide it. I feel like a red traffic light._

"It's all right," soothed one of the other girls, but Hoshi heard the slightly condescending tone. "You'll do just fine, as long as you don't do something stupid."

"Maj'ra!" hissed the leader. "That' wasn't a nice thing to say!"

"It's true, Khi'nhiri. She's too young to do this. This should be for the older children. She isn't even Verified yet!"

Khi'niri's face didn't change, but her skin became a dark bluish-purple. "You cannot be Verified if you don't prove yourself. But if no one gives you a chance to prove yourself, then you have no hope. I say we give Nah'lai that chance."

"I agree," rumbled a tall, lanky boy. "Besides, it would be a learning experience for us all."

There was a wave of agreement, and Maj'ra only nodded brusquely. "Very well," she said, "but only because I'm outvoted."

"Thank you for giving in with such grace," Khi'niri said in an ironic tone. She glanced at Hoshi and said, "Listen carefully to the guidelines, little one. All right?"

Hoshi only nodded. As Khi'niri continued, she studied the other children. All of them radiated confidence, though their bodies betrayed their impatient eagerness. This was more than just a game; it was an exercise in tracking and evasion. The goal was simple: to outlast the other teams. Attempt to find and 'mark' the other pairs without being 'marked' as well. They had until the second sunset to achieve that goal.

"Let the game commence," announced Khi'niri. "Now!"

The children scattered and were quickly lost in the mass of grain stalks. Hoshi followed Khi'niri, though she had to scramble to keep up with the older girl's long-legged strides. Just as Nah'lai had "shared" her physical body on _Enterprise_, Hoshi was now doing the same on this faraway planet. It felt jarring, as if someone had stuffed her into an alien body with all of its own rules. _This is just like one of Malcolm's training exercises, _she realized. _Survival training. It seems that these children begin their training early. _

Khi'niri crouched low on the ground and motioned for Hoshi to do the same. The soft, loamy soil made crawling difficult, as if she was battling her way through deep water. Her hands registered how warm the earth was on her skin, how cool the wind blew through the field, and how dry the air was around her. She glanced down at her six-fingered hands and stared in awe as her skin seemed to change in a blur of color.

_Tactilely sensitive, Hoshi thought. It's Nah'lai's strongest physical sense, like hearing is for me. That's why I'm processing information through touch and temperature. And that was why Nah'lai was interpreting things through auditory means when she was with me on _Enterprise_. _

Then she felt a definite shift, as if the world had shrunk into a bubble all around her. Khi'niri's voice seemed to resonate through her, as if the older girl was directly connected to her brain. The unfamiliar sensation threw off Hoshi's equilibrium; she had never experienced anything like it. It must be an ability common to Nah'lai's people, whoever they were.

"Now, focus your thoughts, little one. Use your greatest strength. Extend your senses to locate our quarry," Khi'niri instructed. "Wrap your feelers around and through, and you will find them easily."

Hoshi wasn't sure what to do, but suddenly, she felt an odd pinching sensation, as if ants were crawling all over her. Then she was going through the field at what seemed like warp speed,. The stalks tickled her skin, the breeze blew past her hair and the vibrations of silent feet pulsed through her blood. The other children were close by; one pair was so close that if she and Khi'niri hadn't stopped, they would have literally bumped into the other team. Yet no one seemed to detect her presence at all.

A second later, Hoshi "dropped" back into Nah'lai's physical body. She closed her eyes and visualized the field, and like a sensor grid, she saw the locations of the other teams upon it._ Wow. This is _weird_. It's as if I can feel their footsteps, even if I can't see or hear them. _

"Well done," Khi'niri whispered. "Now we know where they are and we can catch them. I'll need you to keep track of their movements while I keep us on the right course."

"Yes, Khi'niri," Hoshi replied. She tried to regain that mental map, but it didn't come easily at first. Every time she nearly had it, it would fade away, and then it became harder to acquire her targets. Hoshi's skin literally burned with frustration as she tried and failed to feel her way around again.

"You're trying too hard. That conscious thinking is blocking your talent. Relax and allow yourself to feel, not think. Do what comes naturally to achieve your objective."

Hoshi nodded and took a deep breath. She allowed herself to drift in that half-aware state that she in whenever she concentrated on an unfamiliar syntax. Her mind made connections and associations between what she knew and what was before her now. It analyzed patterns and simplified them to make it easier for others to understand. At first, she picked her way carefully through the strange territory, but once she got a feel for it, she plunged on ahead. And just like that, her sensory awareness seemed to loom large over her, then extend itself in all directions. She could "see" the others as clearly as day.

_I can see how this could be a useful talent in a tactical situation,_ Hoshi thought to herself._ Malcolm would be thrilled to be able to do something like this..._The thought of the _Enterprise's_ armory officer nearly jolted her out of zen-like state. Was he all right? Was he still on the ship? What about her own physical body? Was she dead, and now her mind in some in-between place?

"Nai'lai, you must focus! Show me where the closest pair is!"

The stern rebuke brought her back to what she needed to do. The image of the two eldest boys reformed in her mind, wavered slightly, then held. Khi'niri crept forward, her tiny dart gun at the ready. Two ink cubes flew through the air and impacted against the boys' skin. They whirled around in shock, then their expressions became crestfallen as they realized they'd been "marked".

Hoshi couldn't help a wide grin. "Gotcha," she muttered.

Khi'niri crawled back to where she had hidden herself. "Good, my little one! Do you think you can do it again?"

"Yes!" she replied. "I can do this!"

"Then let's find the others, shall we?" Khi'niri's smile turned predatory and Hoshi found herself matching it. The pride in the elder girl's eyes reminded Hoshi of Jonathan Archer, when the captain had encouraged her to have faith in herself.

The two crept deeper into the field, buoyed by their success. Hoshi understood the game now, and thought,_ All right, let's do this again...

* * *

  
_

Several hours later, they'd taken three other groups out of the game. While they were tracking the last one, somehow their enemy had zeroed in on their location. Just as Hoshi realized where they were, she heard the soft hiss of the dart gun, and a dark hunter green ink cube splashed against her skin.

_Oh no! They got us! Damn, and we were so close! _She blew out a frustrated breath and her shoulders slumped in defeat. Khi'niri coaxed her to her feet as the winning team cheered in triumph.

"You did well," Khi'niri said. "You're still young, but you have the potential. I have every confidence in your ability to save your friends and your family."

Hoshi blinked. "What? I don't understand."

Khi'niri's eyes expanded to engulf her vision. "You have the potential within yourself. Don't force it; allow it to surface naturally. When it does, it will be at the right time. Use your talent, little one. It will bring you salvation and it will bring you love."

The sky above them suddenly flared a bloody reddish-orange as the sun exploded in all directions. The air became an inferno all around them and the grain stalks withered and burned in its wake. A tempest slammed into her body and she collapsed onto the ground.

_What's happening?_ Hoshi screamed, as her skin grew hotter and hotter, then burst into flame. All she could see was a fiery gale and her mind tumbled within it. Then, as abruptly as the maelstrom had claimed her, it spit her out into a calm blackness.

A blackness with bright points of light. Stars. She was suspended in space. Her lungs ached for air and her head throbbed in pain, but she was conscious. She was alive, in a manner of speaking.

To her horror, she saw an expanding cloud of gas and debris heading toward her. No, not toward her; towards the _planet below her_. In a blink of an eye, it overwhelmed the planet, and its surface boiled away, leaving bare rock that broke apart by gravitational forces. Hoshi watched, stunned, as the debris itself was consumed by flames.

She had just seen her world die_. Nah'lai's _world die. It happened so fast that she didn't have time to breathe between one second and the next, and her chest burned with the effort. For a child whose talent required touching people and objects, this state of_ not physically existing _was the worst form of Hell. There was nothing to hold on to, no anchor in the black sea; she was going to go mad...

_Hoshi!_

She tried to locate the voice, but it echoed all around her, and even her acute hearing could pinpoint a single source. If she could clap her hands over her ears, she would have, because the reverberations were worse than the utter silence.

_Hoshi, come back! _

"What?" Her voice cracked with disuse. "Who are you?"

_Then a memory connected the voice to its owner. " It's as easy as one, two, three..."_

Eight seconds. She'd been trapped in the transporter for eight seconds, and during that time, she had experienced a twisted form of reality where no one seemed to notice her and no one seemed to care. One of the most painful moments was when she had joined Trip, Travis, and Malcolm in the Mess Hall, and the men ignored her for the most part, except for the story of Cyrus Ramsey. Ramsey hadn't really existed, but Hoshi had heard the scorn in the comment, "_Everyone_'s heard of Cyrus Ramsey."

But he had also called her back to the real world, and given her the strength to return.

"Bloody hell, Hoshi, don't die on me!"

"Malcolm, for God's sake---!"

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. She's already gone."

"She's _not_ gone, dammit! I'd _know _if she was gone! Phlox, try one more time. Please!"

"Captain---"

"Do as he asks, Phlox. One more time."

"Very well. Charging...clear!"

The electric shock jerked her back to consciousness. Her eyes snapped open and air rushed back into her lungs. The panel above her head beeped a steady tone. The first thing that registered was the panic in Malcolm's eyes, and she tried to give him a reassuring smile, but the effort was too much for her. His face swam in her vision, then faded away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: Hoshi enlists some help in her search for any mention of Na'lai or her lost world. **

**Sorry for the slight delay in updating this. Dealing with sick kids and a case of bronchitis this week. :( BTW, "The Inner Light" is one of my favorite TNG eps, though I didn't see the similarities between it and this story before Alelou and Begoogled pointed it out. Yeah, I guess you can consider it Hoshi's "Inner Light".**

**Please R&R! Thanks! :)

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**Six**

_A week later..._

Hoshi bent over the screen that was embedded in the hardwood table. The unfamiliar characters flashed once, then dissolved into English. A mug of tea appeared at her right elbow, startling her enough to lose her train of thought. She looked up with an expression of annoyance, right into a pair of cool appraising eyes.

"Do not be angry at me, young one," said Theros. The Esaarian rolled his shoulders in the equivalent of a Human shrug. "The Guardian of your vessel ordered me to bring you refreshment. He would do it himself, if he was not required elsewhere."

_Malcolm. _Hoshi's irritation faded and she smiled instead. "Thank you, Theros. I'm sorry...it's been a long day. I do appreciate your allowing me to use your archives."

Theros bobbed his head, making the tips of his long blue-black mustache quiver at the ends. "Knowledge is best shared instead of hoarded. We are honored to meet one who treasures it as much as we do."

"Your High Chieftain told us that your archive covers the history of every planet and every race in this sector." Of course, that was an understatement of sorts. The Esaarians' archive rivaled the one that had been in Old Alexandria on Earth. Hoshi knew that if Na'lai's people had existed, there would be some record of them here.

She_ knew they_ had existed. What she had experienced was too real, too detailed to be just a hallucination. The details of Na'lai's brief life were burned into her mind as if she had actually seen the field and taken part of the training exercise. She'd regained her language skills and her memory, but she'd also remembered Na'lai's as well.

She even found herself thinking---and dreaming---in Nah'lai's language. The occasional odd word crept back into her speech, much to her crewmates' confusion. Why didn't it fade away like she'd expected? There had to be another piece to the puzzle.

"Your science officer told us that you were searching for a race that became extinct long ago," Theros said, with some sympathy. "The Vulcans are not unknown to us; their curiosity is sometimes stronger than their rigid adherence to logic. What is the saying...'curiosity murdered the feline'?"

Hoshi chuckled as she imagined T'Pol saying the quote. While it was technically correct, it still sounded hilarious in "Vulcan-speak", as Trip dubbed it. T'Pol was as curious about Na'lai's people as Hoshi, although T'Pol was more reluctant to admit it._ Sometimes actions _do_ speak louder than words. After all, she was the one who suggested going to Esaaria, and she's the one looking through their astronomical star charts to locate where Na'lai's planet would have been, if it had really existed._

"Yes, that's right. T'Pol's more curious than most, I think. It's in her nature."

Theros nodded at this new piece of information. "I believe it is in yours as well. Your captain seems to be quite proud to lead you in this quest for new experiences and new knowledge. Even your Guardian, although he is somewhat less...ahem, ebullient about it."

She laughed outright at his remarkable accuracy in analyzing both Jon's and Malcolm's personalities. Jon was like Porthos, happy and eager to meet the unknown, while Malcolm preferred a more controlled descent. "Lieutenant Reed and Captain Archer seem polar opposites in that way, but you'd be surprised how well they work together."

"In actual fact, I am not surprised." Theros smiled again at her and pressed his palms together in a gesture of leave-taking. "I will be on the second level, helping other patrons. Please call me if you need anything else. And..."

"Yes?"

"Your Guardian implored me to ask you to 'take a break', I believe was how he termed it."

Two weeks ago, Hoshi might have rolled her eyes in exasperation. Now she only grinned and replied, "I will, as soon as I finish this chapter. Your records include such fascinating details."

"History usually does. I am glad to find another one who appreciates the fact." Theros inclined his head and went on his way. Hoshi turned back to the screen and paged forward to see how much farther she had to go before the end of the chapter. Eleven pages.

She sighed. Although this was the first time she'd encountered the Esaarian's language, it was similar to the ancient one of Na'lai's people. It was like comparing Old Vulcan to Modern Standard Vulcan, or Old English to twenty-second century Earth Standard. Both Theros and T'Pol were surprised at her relative ease in picking up Esaarian; it made it easy to conduct her research.

_Reminds me of when I was working for my Ph.D in linguistics, _she thought wryly, as she surveyed the two screens within the table and the seven or eight open scrolls and folios that surrounded her. She was slowly assembling the clues to find the location of where Na'lai's world was...or would have been.

" Je'nai sre thiui re," she muttered under her breath as she compiled the information she had gathered. She'd narrowed her options to four different locations, all within a two-day reach from Esaaria at warp three. She hoped T'Pol's astrometric charts could narrow the field down even further. In the meantime, she still had so much to read and catalog for _Enterprise_'s database, and transcribe the Esaarian language to the universal translator's matrix.

Her communicator chirped and she flipped it open. "Sato."

"Ensign, I believe I have new information for you to examine," replied T'Pol. The Vulcan's tone was quiet, but Hoshi heard a thread of excitement within it. "Are you in the vicinity of a terminal?"

She tapped the table screen in front of her. "Go ahead, Sub-commander. I'm ready to receive."

"Transmitting." The view switched from a grammatical comparison between Esaarian and Andorian to a star map of the sector. Hoshi's knowledge of gravitational forces and planetary motion could fit in a breadbox with room to spare, but even she saw the most obvious anomaly on the map.

She touched the region of space with her finger. "Right here. It seems that physics are being a bit...screwy over here."

"Indeed," T'Pol agreed. The area flashed yellow as the Vulcan highlighted it from her console in the astronomy department, located five floors above Hoshi's head. "There is a debris field about a light-year wide, just like the adjoining sectors, but the size and the trajectories of the remnants indicate that they may have originally been part of a greater planetary body."

"Some kind of major catastrophe? Like a sun gone supernova?"

"Perhaps, although in the latter case, there would be few traces of physical evidence of the planet. It could have been a collision with an asteroid, or a number of possible causes."

"Maybe it was the Death Star," she muttered under her breath. Trip's latest pick for Movie Night had included the planet-busting space station. Although Hoshi couldn't see T'Pol, she could feel the Vulcan's raised eyebrow over the comm channel.

"Highly unlikely," T'Pol said stiffly. "The massive amount of resources alone, not to mention the length of time to construct such a technological feat is an illogical use of---"

Hoshi chuckled. "I was only kidding, Sub-commander. Do you think it's the location of our mystery planet?"

"Possibly, but I want to check the other alternative sites before settling on a final decision."

:"That's logical. Let me know when you do, Sub-commander. And T'Pol---"

"Yes, Ensign?"

"Thank you, for believing that I'm not crazy."

There was a pause, then T'Pol said, "Your sanity was never in question, Ensign. I will keep you appraised of my progress. T'Pol, out."

"Sato, out." Hoshi out away her communicator, turned back to her screen, and continued her search. Esaarian customs were complicated; one involved a coming-of-age challenge similar to the Vulcan _kahs-wan_, except this was held in a maze of underwater caves, as opposed to Vulcan's Forge. Another one was the Ritual of Confirmation, a week-long period of fasting and meditation before assuming a position of high office. And still another combined what seemed like a bonding ceremony with a full-out rugby match, where the bride's attendants fought against the groom's.

_I can imagine that would be a sight to see. Then another stray thought passed through her brain: Malcolm's English; I wonder if he's ever played rugby. Probably. _

The soft moan of a foghorn caught her attention. She got up from her chair and went to the open window. Like Old Alexandria in Egypt, this city of Yuenjal sat on the shores of the planet's major ocean. As Hoshi watched, boats entered and left the harbor, and the deep voices of the sailors floated up from the docks. Fog began to roll from the sea and already blanketed the horizon. It reminded her of a combination of San Francisco Bay and the port in Athens.

She felt a slight tremble through the floor. Hoshi frowned and looked around, but there seemed to be nothing amiss. It must have been the vibrations of the loading cranes on the dock. _We're seven stories up. I shouldn't be feeling them. _It came again, a subtle shift under her feet. The next thought popped into her head: _Someone's trying to move quietly through the archives. There...in the next aisle..._

Hoshi turned expectantly to see Malcolm standing behind her. He seemed surprised that she knew he was there, but the startled look softened as he saw the view out the window. She blushed and stammered. "Sorry, Malcolm. I ---"

His gray-blue eyes sparkled in the bright lights of the library. "That's quite all right. The Esaarians have a whole section devoted to their naval history. I got lost in it and just found my way out." He laughed and added, "It's rather addictive."

"Yes, it is," she agreed with a nervous laugh. She glanced back out to the ocean as Malcolm moved next to her. After several beats of silence, she asked, "Malcolm---?"

"Yes, Hoshi?"

"How did you know I wasn't completely gone? In Sickbay, I mean? I heard your voice and it brought me back."

He hesitated, then gave her a sideways gaze. His expression was shadowed with something Hoshi couldn't identify. "I just knew it. If I could explain it better, I would. I told you how I blacked out in the Cargo Bay when you flatlined the third time---"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He'd come back to his senses just as Jon and Trip had dragged him to Sickbay, and pleaded with Phlox to try once more to bring her back. She had a fuzzy memory of of seeing his panicked expression, but that was all.

"I'm glad you came back."

The simple statement stirred dormant feelings within her heart. Hoshi managed a smile to match the upturned corners of his lips. Suddenly, she had the urge to put her hand on his arm to comfort him. The whole incident bothered him more than he was willing to admit. She had a brief vision of a lava field, cooled by wind, but just barely restrained from exploding. The comparison suited him, Hoshi thought.

Malcolm didn't flinch at her gentle touch. Instead, he turned, wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him. Together, they gazed at the sea port far below them and the nightlife within it. Hoshi was very aware of the warmth of his skin through the sleeve of his uniform. It was as if she could hear his heartbeat, a steady rhythm that calmed her fears. Strange, how every little detail jumped out at her...

Then Na'lai's teasing voice spoke to her. _"Jai'ihim re, Saalina_." Kiss him, Stupid.

Hoshi felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "_Belanui tr'huparu de," _she thought back. Oh, hush, you. The banter felt so natural that she paused for a second. _Wait a minute...what are you still doing in my head? I thought..._There was no answer, so she thought she must have imagined it. It had been a whole week, and she was just getting used to being herself, Hoshi Sato. There was no way...

Another tremor shook the walls and she tensed as she tried to find the source. She couldn't hear anything out of the ordinary, but her other senses were hypersensitive to her environment. The words formed within her brain. _Sh'ruin je, va. Warn them._

_Warn them of what?_

"What?" she asked aloud. Her eyes snapped open to see Malcolm staring at her with curiosity and concern. "What is it?"

"You said, 'Warn them'. What are you talking about?"

"I did?" She was totally confused. "I said that out loud?"

Malcolm frowned and gently took her by the shoulders. "Are you all right, Hoshi?"

"I...don't know." She tore her gaze away from him and stared out into the night sky. "I keep hearing her---"

Malcolm's brow furrowed as he asked, "Her? You mean the alien girl you saw in your mind? Na'lai?"

Hoshi nodded; she'd told him everything about her experience in Na'lai's body and the fate of Na'lai's world. "I thought she was gone...but I still feel her presence. I've been trying to find any trace of her people in the Esaarian archives and T'Pol's using the local star maps to locate where her planet might have been."

"You still think Na'lai's still communicating with you?"

She was about to answer, but hen shrugged. "If she is, I don't know what she's trying to tell me. I get the feeling something's about to happen---"

The shrill chirp interrupted her. Malcolm glanced at Hoshi in apology and answered the call. "Reed."

"Lieutenant, is Ensign Sato with you?" Phlox's voice sounded unwontedly urgent.

"I"m here, Doctor," Hoshi replied. "Is something wrong?"

"I need to see you right away, Hoshi. It concerns the brain wave scans I took of you last week during your...experience. I may be able to shed some light on why you were affected the way you were."

Hoshi's throat suddenly tightened in---panic? Fear? Worry? Nevertheless, she kept her voice steady as she said, "I'm on my way, Phlox."

"Lieutenant Reed, I think it would be helpful if you accompanied her."

Malcolm nodded in agreement. "We're coming, Doctor. Reed, out." The corners of his mouth turned up into a grim smile as she tried to hide her unease. "It seems that the doctor may finally have some answers for us."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: You find out what Phlox has discovered. The information about Broca's area, Wernicke's area and Wernicke's Aphasia (and how the brain processes language) can be found here: http(colon)(double backslash)en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org(backslash)wiki(backslash)Human(underscore)Brain**

**Plus, Na'lai tells Hoshi what the danger to _Enterprise_ is.**

**Please R&R! Thanks! :)

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**Seven**

The Esaarian Medical Academy was located farther up the shore, away from the docks. Malcolm hailed a _uk'vek_, which looked like a chariot being pulled by two fuzzy yaks. Hoshi gave them a suspicious look as they clambered into the cab, but looks were deceiving, as the two animals took off at a fast gallop. She gripped the edge of the cab as they careened around a corner; Malcolm wrapped an arm around her to keep her from flying out into the street.

"_Du'hai, s'roibe della'hu, Eraiina," _ said the driver. Your husband cares for you much, Lady.

Hoshi's face flushed crimson. "_Fa, de'naicht se Du'hai." _He's not my husband.

The driver gave her a surprised look, then drew his attention back to his fleet-footed animals. "_Pu'riden," _he commented. Pity.

"What'd he say, Hoshi?" Malcolm asked.

"He was just commenting on how he'll get us there as soon as possible," Hoshi lied.

Malcolm swore under his breath as they dashed through an intersection without stopping for incoming traffic. "That's if we don't run into a transport first."

Minutes later, the _uk'vek_ screeched to a stop in front of the Medical Academy. As Malcolm helped Hoshi to the ground, an Esaarian in a white lab coat hurried toward them. He was a close duplicate of of Theros the Archivist, except his mustache and hair were a sandy brown instead of blue-black. The bright green eyes reminded Hoshi of Jon Archer: eager and brimming with intelligence.

"I am Doctor Relnus," the man introduced himself. "Phlox was one of my students on Denobula. He's expecting both of you inside. Please, follow me."

Hoshi stared at him as they went through the highly ornamented walls of the Academy. "Phlox was one of your _students_? You don't seem a day over two hundred, Doctor Relnus."

Relnus laughed and raised his eyebrows at her. "If that is a kind way of saying 'Doctor, you are old', then you are right. I just celebrated my six hundred and twentieth birthday yesterday."

His casual tone struck her speechless. "Wow," was all she said. "Six hundred and twenty?"

"Well, I've always considered Phlox a young _mindek_, Ensign. He's got a lot of potential, still." Relnus waved them into a private room. "Please, come into my office."

Relnus's office was crowded with people: Captain Archer, T'Pol and Trip were gathered around a readout on a large wall screen, while Travis hung back near the entranceway. To Hoshi's surprise, Travis reached out and squeezed her shoulder in a gesture of support.

"I thought you were rock climbing with Theros's sons, Travis."

The helmsman shook his head and replied, "This was more important."

Phlox looked up from his conversation with Jon. "Ah, good. You must have taken an _uk'vek_ from the Archives to get her so promptly. Ensign, come over and look at his schematic."

Hoshi recognized the picture as of her own brain in three-dimensions, with each lobe highlighted in a different color. "What's this?" she asked, pointing at a glowing section with a box around it.

"Your cerebrum, Hoshi. There's an increase in neurotransmitter activity here and here. They control speech, Broca's area and Wernicke's area---"

"Wernicke's Aphasia," Hoshi said, suddenly understanding what Phlox was trying to say. "That's when a person can't comprehend what others are saying to them, and they also have trouble with vocabulary. I couldn't remember certain words and everyone seemed to speak gibberish to me."

"And Broca's area deals with the _physical _ability to use language," Relnus put in, "as well as remembering complex grammar structures. It seems that whatever it was affected both areas of your brain to the point where the neurological signals were confused. You couldn't speak or comprehend until those signals resolved themselves."

"Kinda like an energy overload," Trip mused, "and the failsafes kickin' in."

"Exactly, Commander." Phlox agreed. "Broca's area is in close proximity of motor function controls, so Ensign Sato's temporary clumsiness in walking is understandable as well."

"But she doesn't have any problems now," Travis pointed out, "with either understanding us _or_ moving around."

"That is true, Ensign," T'Pol concurred, "but her most recent brain scan revealed a remarkable increase in her brain function, and it is not limited to the language areas. The cerebellum, which controls some motor function, for example. If this growth continues, Ensign Sato's coordination and sensitivity will increase exponentially."

Hoshi blinked. That explained Na'lai's 'tactical sensitivity'. "Whoever Na'lai's people were, each one had a special skill...Na'lai was able to feel the vibrations of other's movements and any changes in temperature."

Relnus glanced sharply at Phlox. "Yes, that certainly makes sense with these readings, Phlox. I would say that your ensign has 'inherited' these skills."

"Is this permanent?" That came from Jon.

"It's hard to say, Captain. That may be, since the actual physical make-up of her brain is changing, but we don't know."

Malcolm took this in with a look of grimness. "Then the question becomes why this is happening now? And how will this affect Hoshi in the future?"

Hoshi glanced down at her hands, for they began to tingle in an uncomfortable way. It was if her fingers had minds of their own. Without her conscious effort, she reached for the screen and switched its functions. Her medical scans disappeared to be replaced by four different star maps.

"Ensign, how did you access the astronomical charts? That is not possible from this work station," T'Pol asked. Her tone had no judgment, only curiosity.

"I don't know, Sub-commander," she answered, but she sounded distracted. Her eyes narrowed at the four maps; there was _something _there, some kind of music that only _she _could hear. Hoshi placed the palm of her right hand onto the first map, but it was silent. No, that wasn't it. Then she moved to the second, then the third. She closed her eyes to "hear" and "feel" it better. When she touched the fourth map, electricity seemed to crackle between the image on the screen and her skin.

She opened her eyes and said, "That's it. This is the place."

"Are you sure?" asked Jon, with a hint of skepticism. "You can tell by just touching it?"

She gave him a sideways look. "Of course, I'm sure. I can feel the vibrations."

"How---" Jon's question was interrupted by an excited gasp from Travis. "What is it, Travis?"

The Boomer pointed at a glowing sphere just above Hoshi's fingertips. "This is a pulsar, Captain. Cargo pilots use 'em like navigational beacons, 'cause each pulsar has its own cycle. You can set your watch to 'em. If this pulsar is one that we can see from Esaaria, then we can figure out the fastest way to get there."

Malcolm kept his gaze upon her. "Na'lai's system, where her planet used to be?"

Despite herself, Hoshi's eyes began to fill with tears and her throat closed up. She could only nod. Malcolm's hand squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. Jon and Trip glanced at each other, and Hoshi saw that Trip's eyes were misting up too. The engineer was a sensitive man, and he felt her loss as deeply as she did.

"Travis, figure out the fastest course to that system. We'll take a look."

"Aye, sir." Travis gave Hoshi a sympathetic look, then left.

Trip smiled at her and added, "Just tell me where to go, and _Enterprise_'ll get ya there, Hosh."

"Thanks, Trip."

Phlox put a hand on her other shoulder and said, "With your permission, Hoshi, I'd like to monitor your biosigns from here on out. Neither I nor Relnus can predict how these changes will affect you. I want to make sure we're prepared for any contingency."

"Of course, Phlox."

"Then it's settled. We'll leave in an hour." Jon nodded at Trip and T'Pol, who both left to make preparations. Malcolm moved to follow, but Jon held up his hand. "Stay here with Hoshi, Malcolm. I'd like you to keep an eye on her. Ensign Mueller can handle Armory duties for an hour or two."

Malcolm opened his mouth, closed it again, then said, "Thank you, sir."

Hoshi thought he saw a twinkle in Jon's eye, and felt a blush creep up her neck and face. As Phlox and Relnus fussed over the Esaarian imaging chamber, she heard Na'lai's voice whisper to her again, "_They know. They've all known for some time."_

Hoshi sighed and squeezed Malcolm's hand as the two doctors gently helped her onto the moving biobed of the imaging chamber. "It'll be all right," he reassured her. "I'll be here."

She nodded and held her breath as the bed began to retract into the chamber.

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Travis was as good as his word; _Enterprise_ would reach its destination in a day and a half. In the meantime, Hoshi spent most of her time with translating and indexing Na'lai's language. Its similarity to Esaarian made the work easier. Doctor Relnus asked Jon permission to join Phlox for this trip; his specialty was neurobiology, and his knowledge would be valuable for Hoshi's case.

"Ensign?"

She looked up in surprise to see T'Pol standing in the doorway of the lounge. "Sub-commander?" she replied. "What can I do for you?"

"You are agitated. I could feel your emotions from several decks away. It is most...disconcerting."

Hoshi winced. "I'm sorry, Sub-commander. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Considering the circumstances, I hold no blame." T'Pol arched an elegant eyebrow. "If you would permit me, I may be able to help you find a sense of calmness."

Hoshi blinked in surprise; T'Pol didn't make such an offer to just _anyone_, and her training in the mental disciplines would certainly help her regain some peace of mind. "Thank you, Sub-commander. I would appreciate your help."

"Then let us begin here."

Ten minutes later, both women were sitting on cushions pulled from the couches, facing each other with T'Pol's meditation candle between them. Hoshi closed her eyes as T'Pol led her in a breathing exercise. In her mind's eye, she saw the candle flame jump and dance as its light expanded to include the entire lounge.

Then she found herself meeting Na'lai's eyes. The young girl smiled as they gazed at each other for a long moment. Then Hoshi asked, "Why are you still with me, Na'lai?"

"I am a part of you, as you are a part of me," Na'lai replied simply. She reached over and grasped Hoshi's wrist in a gesture of welcome. "We are both wanderers, but now I wish to return home. It is cold and lonely in the darkness of space. I am tired of just _existing_."

"So we're bringing you back to where it all began," Hoshi whispered. "That's why you merged with me."

"You were dying, Hoshi. I needed to save your life." Her smile vanished and the color steadily drained from her face. "You have to warn the others. Great danger is ahead for them, and as I have saved you, you must save them."

"Na'lai, you're talking in riddles! I don't understand!"

"What befell my world could happen again to your ship. History does not need to repeat itself. If we work together, we could change it."

"Whatever destroyed your planet could do the same to _Enterprise_?" Hoshi's voice shook. "What should I do?"

"Listen and I will tell you what you need to do."

So Na'lai talked and Hoshi listened, and when Na'lai was done, Hoshi understood the risks, but was willing to take them. There was no question in her mind...she would do this for her own "family" and her love.

"Are you sure you understand all this?"

Hoshi met Na'lai's gaze squarely. "Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: Here's a Christmas present to my readers! :)**

**Hoshi and Na'lai return to the site of the destroyed planet and Na'lai finally goes "home". Travis does some fancy flying and Ensign Mueller's precise targeting with the phase cannons saves our heroes' skins.**

**A slight spoiler for ENT "Shuttlepod One". **

**Just the Epilogue after this! Please leave a review! Thanks!**

**Rating: T**

**PLEASE NOTE: Due to personal reasons, as of 27 December 2008, I am taking a break from ENT fanfic for a while. I will post the Epilogue to "Lost in Universal Translation" within the next few days, but after that I'll be MIA. I plan to return when things settle down a bit, and hopefully it won't be for too long. Thanks to all my readers. ;)**

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**Eight**

"We have reached Omega Nine-Three-Nine-B," announced T'Pol in a soft voice. Her announcement sounded anti-climactic after everything Hoshi had been through. Omega-Nine-Three-Nine-B. A living, breathing planetary system now reduced to a number on a star chart. Hoshi felt a surge of sadness at T'Pol's words, as true as they were now.

"All stop," Jon ordered. His voice echoed in the eerie silence of the Bridge.

"All stop," repeated Travis as his hands danced over his console.

They all stared at the floating remnants of a long-dead planet in the viewscreen. Whatever had destroyed Na'lai's home had scattered its remains for about a half a lightyear in every direction. Now it was little more than an asteroid field; the largest chunk only slightly bigger than _Enterprise_. The pulsar flickered nearby like a shiny Christmas ornament. As Travis had explained, its cycle reached its peak every seven hours, and when it did, it burst in a bloom of color.

Hoshi's gaze was riveted to a blinking flame in the background. "What's that? It's not the pulsar."

"T'Pol?" Jon asked.

There was the sound of movement as T'Pol checked her scanner. "The ensign is correct. It appears to be a meteor shower that is passing through the sector."

Malcolm frowned as he checked his console. "Sub-commander, it looks like that meteor shower will pass very closely to the system."

Jon glanced over his shoulder at T'Pol and asked, "When will it arrive, and how close to us?"

"It will not arrive for another three hours, and it will pass within two hundred and fifty thousand kilometers to _Enterprise_. I suggest that we be out of this area by then."

"Agreed." Hoshi said suddenly. Her skin became clammy and cold when T'Pol had mentioned the meteor shower. Again, an image of multiple fireballs streaking through purple skies assaulted her vision. She gripped the edge of her console as she relived the horror of not being able to breathe as the noxious gases seared her lungs, as the supercharged air ignited her sensitive skin into flame. Na'lai's memory threatened to overwhelm her senses.

"Ensign? Ensign!"

Hoshi blinked as a hypospray hissed against her arm. She blinked slowly as her vision snapped back to the present. Malcolm knelt in front of her, gripping her hands. His eyes reflected the terror she felt, as if he too could see what she saw. Perhaps he could; Hoshi detected a sense of resonance between them. Although Malcolm's mask was firmly in place, his fear and worry just simmered under the surface. Fear and worry for _her_. An isolated part of her mind noticed that no one on the Bridge made any comment on Malcolm's "odd" behavior.

_Does everyone know how I feel about him? How he fees about me? _If Hoshi's skin didn't already burn at the touch, she thought that her blush would set her on fire. With an effort, she focused at the two doctors next to her. Phlox was at her right, while Doctor Relnus stood slightly behind her with a scanner in hand. All eyes were on her: Travis's, Jon's, T'Pol's. The Vulcan had stood up from her seat, ready to assist the doctors if needed. Hoshi took a deep shuddering breath, but she could still taste the metallic flavor of death on her tongue.

"We must hurry," she whispered. "It will happen again, if we don't hurry." Hoshi raised her head, then tried to stand, but the world swirled around her and she nearly passed out. She felt Malcolm's arms around her, supporting her, as her knees gave way.

"Her vital signs are climbing to dangerous levels," Phlox said. The normally cheerful Denobulan's voice held no humor. "Doctor Relnus---?"

"Amazing...her blood pressure and internal temperature are approaching a more _Esaarian_ norm," Relnus added. His scanner beeped wildly as he drew out the Esaarian version of a hypo from his belt pouch and pressed it against Hoshi's neck. "Normal for _my_ people, but a _Human_ isn't physically built to withstand such a drastic change in body chemistry."

"How long?" Malcolm demanded.

Relnus shook his head and replied, "Two hours, if that. We must lower her body temperature and slow her heartrate."

Hoshi struggled again to get to her feet, but her joints screamed in agony. She could barely move her mouth around the words. "Some sort of force...pulling Na'lai toward the remains of the planet...I have to go with her---"

Malcolm gripped her upper arms. "Na'lai, if you can hear me, you have to let her go! You're killing her!"

She shook her head. "Na'lai can't separate from me yet...I have to be in close proximity to the planet for her to do that. If I don't, it'll tear me apart..." Hoshi clung to him with her remaining strength. "And I can feel the meteor shower coming closer...it'll destroy everything in its path...Malcolm, _please_!"

Trip Tucker's voice interrupted his reply. "Tucker to the Cap'n."

Jon reached over and tapped the comlink on Hoshi's board. "Go ahead, Trip."

"I'm in the Shuttle Bay...and Shuttlepod One's _glowin_' somethin' fierce. It's actin' like a wild horse in the corral and those reinforced walls are literally _growin'_ all over it."

Hoshi turned her head at the sound of Trip's voice. "That's when Na'lai merged with me the first time...it makes sense that we have to take Shuttlepod One to return her home..." She saw a glimmer of understanding and compassion in Jon's eyes, then he nodded at Malcolm.

"Trip, get Shuttlepod One prepped for launch. Malcolm's bringing Hoshi down and they're going to bring Na'lai home. Quickly as possible, Trip...Hoshi's just barely hanging on."

"I hear ya, Cap'n...Tucker, out."

Hoshi tried a third time to get to her feet, but instead Malcolm swept her up into his arms. She barely had the strength to hold her head up; it was as if her insides were burning in lava. _Think about something cold...chocolate ice cream, sundaes, igloos, newly-fallen snow, icebergs with little black-and-white penguins..._

"Strawberry ices and sorbets, snowballs being stuffed under the back of your shirt..."

She managed a laugh at Malcolm's soft tone. When she opened one eye, she saw his lopsided smile and her heart stopped at the undisguised emotion in his face. "That gives me an idea..." she whispered weakly.

"You'd have to catch me first," he teased, "and that's after we find a snow-covered planet for a snowball fight."

"Maybe we can visit Andoria after this," she joked as her body began to shiver. Despite the friendly banter, thinking of snow and ice wasn't working. Hoshi felt her body being stretched across a padded cushion and a blanket being tucked all around her.

"I will monitor her vital signs, Lieutenant," came Phlox's voice from somewhere above her. "Stay next to her; your presence seems to stabilize her condition."

"Hang on, Hoshi," Travis chimed in as she heard the engines begin to fire up. Travis must have volunteered to be their pilot. "We're gonna get you where you need to go."

She could no longer see with her own eyes; her attention was drawn inward. Hoshi found Na'lai deep within the confines of her mind. Their surroundings brightened from a dark blue/black to a fiery orange and its lights flashed across Na'lai's translucent skin and curly hair. Hoshi felt a distinct _pull_ on Na'lai, but that pull sent her body in agony. It felt as if she was being forced through a tiny hole in a microscopic sieve, every muscle and tendon stretched to the snapping point. To make matters worse, Hoshi could also feel the buzz of the incoming meteor shower, like a horde of angry wasps pricking her skin.

"It is far worse than I had expected, Hoshi," Na'lai cried. Verdant tears streamed across her pale cheeks. "I am trying to phase my presence out gradually, but the process is being sped up faster and faster..."

Hoshi reached for Na'lai and grasped her hands. "Then don't resist it, Na'lai. Allow it to happen..."

"The shock will kill you, Hoshi. I cannot allow you to die again---"

"You saved me once, so I've been living on borrowed time." She managed a smile. "At least you've allowed me to experience your gift."

Na'lai's tears flowed faster, even as her presence became fainter. "I am sorry."

"Don't be. Go home, where you belong, Na'lai, and you don't need to wander alone anymore. Everything will be all right." Even as Hoshi said the words, she _meant _them. They weren't words of empty comfort. She felt a fleeting sensation of happiness and contentment, then Na'lai's form completely disappeared, and Hoshi was staring down at her empty hands.

_Then she was flying through space, heading toward the physical remains of her home. Instead of barren rock, it seemed to glow in many colors, and the air surrounding her became warmer. Smells reached her nose: baking bread and simmering udon soup; wildflowers and the wind through the trees. There was the sound of children laughing, and playing under the sun..._

It was all around her, and within her, the sense of homecoming and completion. A sense of belonging that she'd never experienced before. As a young child prodigy, Hoshi set herself apart from everyone, and immersed herself in language and linguistics. The loneliness was so much a part of her that she hardly felt it anymore. Her family were little more than strangers most of the time. Then she'd joined the _Enterprise _crew at Jon's request, and found more than she'd bargained.

"What good is learning language and culture if you don't _feel _them? What good is theory if it's not put into practice?" An old saying floated at the surface of her mind: "I draw water and I chop wood!" The Buddhist monk had stared at his own hands and marveled at the simple pleasures of simple tasks. Just being able to _feel_ and be _alive_...

_What good is it to be around family and hold yourself aloof from them?_

Something broken within Hoshi was healed. If she died now, she would harbor no regrets...save one. _Malcolm. _She reached out of herself, drawing away from that seductive glow, for if she stayed there, she knew that would never leave. It wasn't her time yet; there were still tasks for her to complete. But eventually, she might search for this place and find it again.

Na'lai brushed against her mind in farewell and benediction. It was as if Hoshi was bidding her twin goodbye forever; she fought against tears. Yet Na'lai said in her mind, "This is only 'see you in the future', not 'goodbye'."

Then Na'lai was gone and Hoshi's consciousness went with it.

A rude jolt slammed her back into awareness. She opened her eyes, but couldn't move a muscle. It took her a moment to realize that she was staring at the ceiling of Shuttlepod One. Frantic voices rose all around her as the walls shook again. Then a soft hiss pierced the air.

"Bloody hell! We've got a leak. Where's that sealant...ah, here it is!"

"The hole's over here, Lieutenant. Give me that sealant, since I'm closest to it."

"Here, Doctor. It'll probably do better than mashed potatoes."

"Excuse me, Lieutenant?"

"I'll explain later. Travis---?"

"The debris is coming in harder and faster, Malcolm. I'm doing my best to avoid 'em, but I can't get around 'em all."

"_Enterprise_ to Shuttlepod One." That was Jon Archer.

"Shuttlepod One, sir," Malcolm answered.

"How's Hoshi?"

"Her condition's stable. We're heading back to the ship now. The planetary debris is beginning to break up as the meteor storm gets closer---"

"We've got Shuttle Bay One all ready for you. Once you're safely back, we're warping out of the area."

T'Pol's voice echoed in the background. "The storm is bearing zero eight zero mark three and closing fast. I would suggest haste, Mister Mayweather."

"Going as fast as I can, Sub-commander. We'll get back in time even if I have to go out and push."

"I trust that will not be necessary, Ensign."

Hoshi repressed a snort of laughter. _T'Pol's joking with Travis? Did I just hear that right?_ Of course, the Vulcan would deny it to her grave. The shuttlepod shuddered again in the wake of another wave of debris. Her sensitive hearing caught Travis's sigh of relief as they avoided yet another collision.

Then Malcolm shouted, "The edge of the first storm wave just hit the system boundary."

"I see it," Travis acknowledged grimly. "Hang on, everybody."

Again, the walls trembled and this time, more holes erupted from the back of the shuttlepod. Phlox patched up the leaks with more sealant. A faint roar echoed out of the comm speakers, followed by the screech of static. The shuttlepod lurched to starboard and Hoshi felt herself sliding in that direction, but she couldn't move to stabilize herself. She felt Phlox's hand on her shoulder and her sideways progress stopped abruptly.

"Captain, we aren't going to make it before the bulk of the storm hits," Malcolm reported. "Get _Enterprise _out of here."

"Not without all of you," Jon's voice was barely heard over the static. "Target that large planetoid in their way, Ensign Mueller. Fire!"

The Germanic-sounding voice of Malcolm's second-in-command was lost as thunder reverberated through the shuttlepod walls. Then Travis whooped in delight. "That's done it...thanks, Bernhard! Hang on, everyone, we're coming in!"

"Travis!" Malcolm yelled. "Slow down and reverse thrust---"

The shuttlepod skidded forward with a piercing screech. Sparks flared from the walls as the pod lurched to the left, then something exploded to Hoshi's right. Shuttlepod One finally halted in a cloud of smoke as burned electrical circuits send faint discharges into the air.

"Everyone okay?" Travis asked with a cough.

Malcolm swore something incoherent as someone banged on the shuttlepod walls. Phlox had his scanner out and was checking Hoshi when she finally managed to whisper, "What happened? Where are we?"

"I believe we've landed," Phlox deadpanned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't make money off 'em.**

**Notes: Here's the Epilogue...sorry for the delay. My health has gotten a little better the past 2 weeks, but I'm still struggling with my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. It makes it hard to sit at the keyboard for long stretches. :( Up and down temperatures don't help it much. Trying out a new exercise/diet regimen that will hopefully ease some of the symptoms enough to get back to writing. :)**

**Thanks to my readers for your patience. Didn't really mean to drop off suddenly like that, but...real life happens once in a while.**

**Hoshi deals with the aftermath of her experience, and the crew helps her.**

**Slight reference to ENT "Silent Enemy". R/S implied.**

**Please R&R. Thanks! ;)

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**Nine: Epilogue**

Hoshi looked up at Malcolm and lowered the phase pistol. His eyes lit up at the results of his PADD and he raised his head to meet her eyes. She found herself mirroring the smile and knew what he was going to say.

"You're improving by leaps and bounds, Hoshi. Sixty-six percent."

She blushed. "Thanks, Malcolm."

"I noticed you've relaxed your stance and concentrated on the target, and you're not compensating for the drift anymore. We'll have you at marksmanship level before long."

"Ah...I'm a linguist, not a sharpshooter."

"I'm aware of that, but I feel more confident in your ability to defend yourself in a crisis situation." He nodded at her. "Once more, then we'll call it a day?"

She nodded back. "Once more. I'm ready." Hoshi checked her stance and raised the phase pistol. "Go." And just like that, she slipped into that strange sense of mind that helped her concentrate on what she was doing. Instead of tensing her shoulders in anticipation, she focused on the target and allowed her body to automatically adjust to the movement. Her fingers tightened on the trigger without her conscious awareness, and after each hit, she went on to the next target.

"Time."

She dropped her arm and turned expectantly towards him. "How'd I do?"

"Sixty nine percent." He grinned again. "Good work, Hoshi."

"Thanks." She thumbed the safety catch on the pistol and handed it to him. "You know, I could almost _sense_ where the target was going to be. All I had to do was relax and let it happen. Before, I was so worried about making a good score that I was all tense and cramped up. Now, it's not as bad."

Malcolm digested this as he put the pistol away in a weapons locker. "Na'lai's tactical sense?"

"I think so." Hoshi tapped the side of her temple with a finger. "She's not there anymore, but I still have some of her talent, I think."

"Phlox said that your brain scans had changed a little bit...that you'll still possess a sensitivity to your environment, but nowhere close to what Na'lai had." He closed the locker and activated the lock. "It could be useful sometime."

"Probably." She managed a smile and added, "Don't expect me to join your Armory team anytime soon, though."

He chuckled. "How about dinner?"

"Sounds good."

They walked through the corridors leading to the Mess Hall. Other crewmembers greeted Hoshi on the way there; she returned the greetings with a wave. In the few days since her recovery, she had felt an even greater change than the physical. For most of her life, she'd felt like an outsider, someone who stood apart from the others, and she'd resigned herself to that fact. But ever since she'd accepted Jon Archer's invitation to join the crew, she'd found out that she _belonged _here.

The Mess Hall was only half-full, but Trip and Travis were already there. As usual, Travis ate at his breakneck speed, while Trip savored his fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. Trip looked up and waved Hoshi and Malcolm to their table.

"Hey, look who's here, Travis. It's the lucky lovebirds," he drawled. "How ya both doin'?"

"Just finished target practice," Malcolm replied. Hoshi noticed he hadn't denied Trip's assumption, like he would have a month ago. She fought to keep a straight face. "I believe Hoshi will continue to improve her skills."

"Yeah, I got every confidence she will," Trip agreed with a wink. Hoshi felt herself blush again; what _was _it with these guys? She was saved from commenting by Travis.

"She's got chocolate cheesecake. Now we know she's _definitely _back." He waved his fork in the air. "Guess what? Chef said he's planning on baking chocolate chip cookies. I can't wait to snag a couple; it's been a while since Chef's done it."

"Let me know the minute he pulls them from the oven, Travis. I have dibs on a couple from the first tray."

"You got it, Hoshi." He looked up as the doors hissed open and a short, brown blur streaked into the Mess Hall. "Look out, furry torpedo at nine o'clock."

Porthos threw himself against Hoshi's legs in glee and she picked him up. "Hi, Porthos," she said with a grin. "Sorry, no cheese today, but I can give you a hug."

"He managed to wheedle some cheese cubes from Crewman Cunningham, so he's had his limit for the day," Jon said as he joined the others. "He's glad you're back, Hoshi. We _all _are."

"Indeed," echoed T'Pol, who had arrived with her normally calm aplomb. "It has been...unsettling without your presence, Ensign."

"Thanks. It's good to be back." She looked over at Malcolm, who had reached over to scratch Porthos behind the ears. She touched his hand with her fingers and he gently grasped them. "It's good to be home."


End file.
